What Divorce Parenting Practices is Best Appropriate for Preschoolers?

What Divorce Parenting Practices is Best Appropriate for Preschoolers?

by: Ruben Francia

How do you spare your preschoolers for the negative effects of divorce? How do you promote your preschooler's healthy growth and development? The answer is appropriate divorce parenting practices.

The next question is what appropriate divorce parenting practices for preschooler really means? Let's keep things simple. All you need to know is learn how divorce affect your children. Knowing how preschoolers react to divorce will bring you to a better position of knowing the best appropriate divorce parenting practices you can give for your child.

So let's get started. How is preschoolers affected by divorce? Preschoolers commonly experience regression during parents' divorce. Children whose parents are in conflict regress to thumb-sucking, bed-wetting and other behaviors their parents assume they've outgrown.

Children at this developmental stage may think they are responsible for their parents' divorce or for their parents not living together. As a corollary to the perception that their misbehavior caused the divorce or caused a separation, preschool children often believe that if they are really good, everything will be okay again. This can be an incredibly stressful perception for a little kid, because he or she begins to carry on his or her shoulders the burden of getting mom and dad back together again.

Preschoolers may be confused, have fantasizes about reconciliation, and show difficulties in expressing their feelings. Their sense of security is affected by predictable and consistent routines.

Preschoolers may fear being left alone or abandoned altogether and may worry about the changes in their daily lives. They may deny that anything has changed, or they may become uncooperative, depressed, or angry. Although they want the security of being near an adult, they may act disobedient and aggressive.

Preschoolers exhibit signs of sadness and grieving because of the absence of one parent. Preschoolers may be aggressive and angry toward the parent they blame.

Now that you know how preschoolers react to divorce, I'm sure a lot of ideas come to your mind on what divorce parenting practices is best appropriate for preschoolers. To add up to your list of ideas, here below are some of the things you should do to help your preschoolers adjust to divorce.

Repeatedly tell children that they are not responsible for the divorce. Children need to be reassured that the breakup wasn't their fault.
Discourage reconciliation fantasies. Avoid dinners, outings, or holiday celebrations with your ex-spouse; they only fuel your child's fantasies. Instead, emphasize the finality of divorce
Keep daily routines intact. Children feel more secure when there is a standard routine. Stick with bedtimes, no matter at which home the children are. Have some consistent chores. Have some time committed to the child, which is treated as sacred.
Reassure children that everything will be ok, just different. Children are invariably frightened and confused by divorce. It's a threat to their security. Provide extra hugs and kisses and tell your child that you and other adults will always be near to love and protect
Explain what is happening over and over again. Children this age are confused easily. In simple terms, explain where your child will live, with whom, where the departing parent will live, and who will provide care when both parents are unavailable.
Encourage your child to talk about how he/she feels. Be sensitive to children's fears. Let your child know that he or she can openly talk to you about the ups and downs of your separation or divorce.
Encourage the child to carry photographs and other keepsakes of the custodial parent when he or she leaves home to visit with the non-custodial parent. Conversely, encourage the child to keep a photograph of his or her non-custodial parent in a visible place at home.
Be sensitive to children signs of depression and fear. Seek professional help if depression is prolonged or intense.
Help non-custodial parent stay involve. Let non-custodial parent maintain a regular presence such as a phone call several times each week, messages sent on video or audiotapes.
Plan a schedule of time for children to spend with their other parent. Be supportive of children's ongoing relationship with the other parent. Remember that children generally fare best when they have the emotional support and ongoing involvement of both parents. If you have difficulty relating to your former spouse then get your free copy of my ebook "8 Essential Steps to Cooperative Parenting and Divorce." Just visit my website and get the said ebook for free.

You can learn more divorce parenting practices appropriate for children of any age in my ebook "101 Ways To Raise 'Divorced' Children to Successfully." This ebook is a divorce parenting guide that offers many proven ways that will not only help you help your children but will also guide you on how to deal with yourself and your former ex-spouse for your children's sake. Thus, giving you complete information on how to raise healthy, happy and successful children even if you're divorced. For more information, please visit my website.

With the above information, I hope you will become an empowered divorced parent and believe that you can raise healthy, happy and successful children even if you're divorce.

Publishing Rights: You have permission to publish this article electronically, in print, in your ebook or on your website, free of charge, as long as the author's information and web link are included at the bottom of the article. The web link should be active when the article is reprinted on a web site or in an email. Minor edits and alterations are acceptable so long as they do not distort or change the content of the article.

About The Author

Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parenting guide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced' Children To Success". Get his other ebook for FREE, "8 Essential Steps to Cooperative Parenting and Divorce." Visit his web site at http://www.101divorceparenting.com.

support@101divorceparenting.com

Marriage Problem; Is Your Marriage Problem Severe Enough To Warrant Getting A Divorce?
Having a marriage problem can be agonizing especially if you're trying to do all you can to make your marriage work. Depending on how your marriage was prior to thinking that you had a marriage probl.......

Unleashing the power of knowledge
We all have some sort of knowledge locked in our noggins. Through life’s experiences
such as past and present employment, the adversities we’ve all had evovle during our
lifetimes, such as illnesses, divorces, issue with our children, financial and....

"Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source"
Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what type of divorce advice you want and what you want to use it for. When looking for advice about divorce, it is smart to clearly define what you.......

Selecting a Divorce Attorney
Selecting a divorce attorney is a critical decision making process. The person who you hire will be responsible for obtaining or maintaining your custody rights to your children, your property inter.......

"Uncontested Divorce; How Thinking About An Uncontested Divorce Figures Into Your Decision About
An uncontested divorce is the most common type of divorce. An uncontested divorce is a divorce that occurs when there are no disagreements between spouses over divorce related issues like custody, finances, living arrangements, spousal support, child sup....

How To Identify What The Question "Should I get a divorce?" Means To You.
Deciding about whether you should get a divorce or not is an agonizing experience to go through. If you are asking yourself "should I get a divorce?", you've been thinking about your relationship's s.......

Deciding on Divorce: How to know you are making the right choice
It's a well known fact that in this day and age most marriages end up in divorce. When confronted with the possibility of "throwing a relationship away", you'll probably experience a lot of stress. .......

10 Things I Learned About Divorce/Vicki Lansky
Divorce: 10 Things I Learned
by Vicki Lansky

For anyone who hasn't been divorced, trust me, divorce is never what you imagine it to be. Here are a few insights that may save you a trip to court, or at the very least, give you some idea of wha.....

The Secret To Success In Courtship And Marriage, Sex And Happiness. (Part 1)

In a high-divorce society, not only are more unhappy marriages likely to end in divorce, but in addition, more marriages are likely to become unhappy. -- COUNCIL ON FAMILIES IN AMERICA.
....

Top 5 To Dos Before Saying “I do”
Today, nearly half of all marriages don't last. Everyday I work with couples going through a divorce, many times over preventable conflicts. I’ve learned about what needs to be discussed before making a life-long commitment. If you’re planning to get mar.....

Vengeful Husband sues Ex-Wife for Secondhand Smoke Illness
Charleston, SC 3/24/05-
After 13 years of marriage, a Florida man divorces his wife and sues her, claiming his wife’s 2 to 3 pack-a-day smoking habit caused him to contract life-threatening lung cancer in Palm Beach (case id 501997CA01158XXONAN). When....

What Divorce Parenting Practices is Best Appropriate for School-Age Children?
It is being said that how bad or how well children go through the divorce depends on how the situation is handled. And believe me when I tell you that there is an appropriate divorce parenting pract.......

Divorce and Uncle Sam: Top 10 Things You Should Know When Filing Your Taxes
If you’ve recently divorced or separated from your spouse, here are a few things you should know for the upcoming tax season:

1.What is my filing status? (Married, Single, Head of Household)
Marital standing at year end determines your filing st....

"Does Your Sexless Marriage Have You Thinking About Divorce?"
If you are in a sexless marriage and are unhappy because of it, don't worry, it isn't unrecoverable but it is serious cause for concern. You may even be thinking that you need a divorce because of yo.......

Divorce Online Sevice. Why Should We Lose Money And Time Applying For Divorce?
Attempts to use the worldwide Web as an effective means of struggle against bureaucracy are undertaken constantly and sometimes successfully. Today it is possible to fill in a tax declaration, apply .......

How to Select a Divorce Lawyer
Selecting a divorce lawyer to handle your family law case is a very important decision. The following are a few important criteria to help in finding the right divorce lawyer. Experience and Focus A.......

Following Through
Direct Answers - Column for the week of March 24, 2003 My final divorce papers sit in front of me waiting for my signature. In fact, they've been sitting on my desk for five days now. It took me tw.......

Your Glass Is Half Full!
When most people are confronted with
a change in their lives that they didn't
want, such as death or divorce, negative
feelings start setting in. These people
start looking at everything in their lives
with a "glass half empty" attitude........

Children's Discipline: How To Resolve Divorce Parenting Differences?
Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives double messages, produces anxiety and can be very confusing to your children? Children need to know where they stand in their behaviors.......

Hidden Divorce Costs
Divorce has become part of life in the 21st century. The stigma of being divorced that once existed no loger exists. This does not mean that divorce is an easy decision to make. There are many rea.......

Midlife Dating: Filling Your Social Calendar
If you find yourself suddenly solo at midlife wondering how to keep a balanced social life and meet other singles, you aren’t alone.

Sometimes friends and country clubs are divided up in the divorce along with the possessions, or you may find your....

Living in the Clouds
I have a sister of whom I am very proud. After the kids were grown she found herself divorced after years of unhappy marraige. So she went back to work. She found the job market brutal after all those years as a housewife, but she stuck with it, and got a....

"Extramarital Affair: Should You Get A Divorce Just Because One Of You Had An Extramarital A
Having to deal with an extramarital affair can be a life-changing event, regardless of whether you stay married or not. Inescapable feelings can come over both people that will never be forgotten by either of them. The person who actually had the extramar....

Reasons You Aren't Starting the Decision Making Process About Whether To Get a Divorce Or Stay Ma
Along with any tough decision comes reluctance, especially when that decision involves an actual process and might potentially involve emotional pain or anguish. Deciding whether or not to get a divo.......

Take Off the Rose-Colored Glasses When Dating
Robin was giving me an anatomy of her divorce. “There were signs,” she said. “Plenty of them. I just ignored them.”

“The counselor told me to ignore how he treated other people,” said Manuela, “and concentrate on how he treated me. But one day I be....

Legal Mistakes - Top 10 Women (and Men) Should Avoid
In today’s world and high divorce rate, men and women should be aware of some legal issues to protect not only themselves, but also their children and any assets you may have. I will explain some of .......

"Should You Try To Stop Your Divorce If You're Just Thinking About Getting A Divorce?
Thinking about getting a divorce doesn't necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce. Conversely, it could be wise to try to s top your divorce, only you know whether you should. Just because you're thinking about getting a divorce, doesn.......

BREAKING UP. Rights and obligations with prenuptial agreement.
Prenuptial Agreements (Premarital Contract) are like insurance policies. You do the paperwork, and then hope you'll never need it. However, since half of marriages end in divorce within t.....

What Divorce Parenting Practices is Best Appropriate for Preschoolers?
How do you spare your preschoolers for the negative effects of divorce? How do you promote your preschooler's healthy growth and development? The answer is appropriate divorce parenting practices. T.......

Divorce Is Not A Good Idea Right Now
Since September 11th although tempers have flared, depression has increased and sleeplessness has become an unwelcome visitor to many, committed relationships have not faltered and divorce filings have declined. Why is this? Even though people are stresse....

"Sexless Marriage : Does Your Sexless Marriage Have You Thinking About Divorce?"
If you are in a sexless marriage and are unhappy because of it, don't worry, it isn't unrecoverable but it is serious cause for concern. You may even be thinking that you need a divorce because of your sexless marriage, that's only natural. But, in ord.......

Divorce: Coping With The Family Law Process
The Emotions

Divorce is a scary, lonely and misunderstood process for most people, particularly when there are children involved. The mutual friends enjoyed during the marriage may not be of help because those individuals may not want to "pick a s.....

Media Underload! The Stress Reducing Psych-Diet
The war, taxes, the economy, increased health problems, crime on the rise, overwhelming divorce rate, corruption in corporate America, and, oh yes, Janet at the Super Bowl! Where does it end? With so.......

"Marriage Problem; Is Your Marriage Problem Severe Enough To Warrant Getting A Divorce?"
Having a marriage problem can be agonizing especially if you're trying
to do all you can to make your
marriage work. Depending on how your
marriage was prior to thinking that
you had a marriage problem, you could
be in for a hurtful time .....

Ten Easy, Yet Powerful way to get in the spirit to date again after a break-up or time-out
Ten Easy, yet Powerful ways to get in the spirit to date again after a break-up or time-out
Divorce and relationship break-up are devastating to most people. Most have learned that jumping from the frying pan into the fire is not a good thing. However....

How to Sell Your House by Lease Options
Many people buy a house then have to move within a few years, due to divorce, relocation or financial difficulties. Without any equity though, it can be nearly impossible to find buyers and you still.......

Q: As a result of my divorce, I'm left with more debt than I can handle. Is there an alterna
One of the often-unintended consequences of divorce is the burdensome debt that was formerly handled by two, now to be handled by one. Creditors hold both spouses liable for debt incurred during the marriage. Any agreement between the spouses regarding wh....

"Divorce and Children: Things To Consider When You're Staying Married Only For Your Chil
All children are different and respond differently to divorce. Depending on the characteristics of the children - age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma - the easier or more difficult it will be for children to weather a divorce.

Divorced Parent: Do You Alienate Your Child from the Other Parent?
I have seen some divorce parents consciously distance their children from the other parent? Such actions may only be justified when there is a genuine concern about the children's emotional or physic.......

Surviving Divorce: What To Think About To Ensure Surviving Divorce
Surviving divorce can be a valid fear if you're contemplating getting a divorce. In order to ensure surviving divorce, you should first understand that your divorce decision shouldn't be taken lightl.......

"Contested" And "Uncontested Divorce"
A divorce case is contested if the parties cannot agree on every one of the issues involved in their particular situation. Common areas of disagreement include, but are not limited to: grounds for di.......

Midlife Career Change Can Feel Like Getting a Divorce
Most of us are aware that we need to grieve the death of a close friend, relative or favorite pet. We are beginning to learn that other events -- relocation, divorce, illness -- can also be experienced as loss.

Losing a professional-level career ca....

Spare Your Kids To 7 Most Distressful Divorce Parenting Situations
What 7 most distressful situations to kids that divorced parents should avoid? Learn them to spare your kids from the painful consequences. 1. Carrying Message Between Parents A child doesn't like.......

What Divorce Parenting Practices is Best Appropriate for Toddlers?
Toddlers, toddlers, toddlers! Very young, seems don't understand what is happening yet their development may be affected by parental divorce. During the first three years of life, children grow quic.......

Second Time Around the Block
Divorce happens. I'm not going to debate the causes or the moral and ethical implications of that here. Even if you're the innocent one who stuck to your vows and got dumped anyway, you still have .......

Divorce: How To Survive A Divorce And Move On With Your Life
One out of every two marriages in America is failing. American families are crumbling and vanishing. Most families have become dysfunctional, and it is widely becoming fashionable to come from a dy.......

Back in the Saddle
The single parents' guide to dating again.

Going through a divorce is hard. Getting back into the dating scene can seem even harder. You have been out of the scene for a while now and are not sure how to get back in. Let alone, back in wi.....

Divorce: Secrets To Coping With A Divorce Announcement
During a wedding ceremony, when people are joined together in matrimony, they swear and vow to honor and respect each other and to remain partners both during good and bad times. But in most marriag.......