Divorced Parent: Do You Alienate Your Child from the Other Parent?

I have seen some divorce parents consciously distance their children from the other parent? Such actions may only be justified when there is a genuine concern about the children's emotional or physical safety when with the other parent. But in the absence of past domestic violence, drug or alcohol abuse, physical, sexual, or emotional child abuse, alienating children from the other parent will never bring any good.

Other parents may subconsciously alienate children from the other parent. But whether there is a deliberate move or not to alienate children from the other parent, the same thing will happen. Children will always suffer. Remember children generally fare best when they have the emotional support and ongoing involvement of both parents and parental alienation must be put to an end.

The good news is we can prevent the devastating effects of parental alienation. The key is to begin recognizing the symptoms of parental alienation. After reading the list below, don't get discouraged when you notice that some of your own behaviors have been alienating. Instead, let the list help sensitize you to how you are behaving and what you are saying to your children.

1. Denying the existence of the other parent. This include actions like denying other parent photo's within children's room, avoiding conversations with other parent, ignoring the other parent in public and refusing visitation.

2. Criticizing the other parent. This include actions like speaking negatively about the other parent in front of the children, speaking negatively about the other parent's family and friends, and comparing your children to the other parent in a negative way.

3. Placing your children in the middle. This include actions like using them as a messenger, having them act as spies, discussing adult issues in front of or with your children and arguing in front of the children.

4. Setting up the other parent to fail. This include actions like failing to inform the other parent of important events, laughing at or making jokes about the other parent, encourage children to disobey other parent and blaming the divorce on the other parent.

5. Resisting or refusing to cooperate by not allowing the other parent access to school or medical records and schedules of extracurricular activities.

6. Telling the child "everything" about the marital relationship or reasons for the divorce is alienating. The parent usually argues that they are "just wanting to be honest" with their children. This practice is destructive and painful for the child. The alienating parent's motive is for the child to think less of the other parent.

7. Asking the child to choose one parent over another parent causes the child considerable distress. Typically, they do not want to reject a parent, but instead want to avoid the issue. The child, not the parent, should initiate any suggestion for change of residence.

8. Refusing to be flexible with the visitation schedule in order to respond to the child's needs.

9. A parent suggesting or reacting with hurt or sadness to their child having a good time with the other parent will cause the child to withdraw and not communicate. They will frequently feel guilty or conflicted not knowing that it's "okay" to have fun with their other parent.

10. When parents physically or psychologically rescue the children when there is no threat to their safety. This practice reinforces in the child's mind the illusion of threat or danger, thereby reinforcing alienation.

Now that you have read the above list, don't get discouraged when you notice that some of your own behaviors have been alienating. Just think and internalize that children generally fare best when they have the emotional support and ongoing involvement of both parents. Therefore, parental alienation must be put to end. Both parents have to work as co-parents.

If you are having difficulty parenting with your children's other parent then make your move now. Remedy your situation by getting a free copy of my ebook "8 Essential Steps To Cooperative Parenting and Divorce." Likewise, you can learn effective divorce parenting from my other ebook "101 Ways To Raise 'Divorced' Children to Successfully." For more information, please visit my website.

With the above information, I hope you will become an empowered divorced parent and believe that you can raise healthy, happy and successful children even if you're divorce.

Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved.

Publishing Rights: You have permission to publish this article electronically, in print, in your ebook or on your website, free of charge, as long as the author's information and web link are included at the bottom of the article. The web link should be active when the article is reprinted on a web site or in an email. Minor edits and alterations are acceptable so long as they do not distort or change the content of the article.

About the Author

Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parenting guide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced' Children To Success". Get his other ebook for FREE, "8 Essential Steps to Cooperative Parenting and Divorce." Visit his web site at http://www.101divorceparenting.com

"Contested" And "Uncontested Divorce"
A divorce case is contested if the parties cannot agree on every one of the issues involved in their particular situation. Common areas of disagreement include, but are not limited to: grounds for di.......

The Secret To Success In Courtship And Marriage, Sex And Happiness. (Part 1)

In a high-divorce society, not only are more unhappy marriages likely to end in divorce, but in addition, more marriages are likely to become unhappy. -- COUNCIL ON FAMILIES IN AMERICA.
....

Midlife Dating: Filling Your Social Calendar
If you find yourself suddenly solo at midlife wondering how to keep a balanced social life and meet other singles, you aren’t alone.

Sometimes friends and country clubs are divided up in the divorce along with the possessions, or you may find your....

Relationships: Too Easy To Leave
Katheryn and Mathew, both in their 50’s, have been together for two years. Both have been previously married and divorced. When they met, they fell madly in love, which lasted for a few months. Then .......

Children and Divorce
You and your spouse have decided to end your marriage. Although this has been a difficult decision for you and your spouse, it can be a very complicated one for your children. Divorce in many ways is like facing a death in the family, and a grieving proce....

Legal Issues Surrounding Divorce
There are two types of divorce: absolute and limited. Absolute, or “divorce a vinculo matu monii”, is the judicial termination of a marriage based on marital misconduct or other statutory causes after the wedding ceremony—such as adultery. After the divor....

Divorce and Uncle Sam: Top 10 Things You Should Know When Filing Your Taxes
If you’ve recently divorced or separated from your spouse, here are a few things you should know for the upcoming tax season:

1.What is my filing status? (Married, Single, Head of Household)
Marital standing at year end determines your filing st....

Spare Your Kids To 7 Most Distressful Divorce Parenting Situations
What 7 most distressful situations to kids that divorced parents should avoid? Learn them to spare your kids from the painful consequences. 1. Carrying Message Between Parents A child doesn't like.......

Divorce: Secrets To Coping With A Divorce Announcement
During a wedding ceremony, when people are joined together in matrimony, they swear and vow to honor and respect each other and to remain partners both during good and bad times. But in most marriag.......

Hire Divorce Lawyer or Use Online Divorce Forms?
When do you need to hire a family law attorney and when is it okay to just use an online divorce form website to save a little money? This article will provide a few pointers to help you decide whether to do it yourself or retain a divorce lawyer.

Selecting a Divorce Attorney
Selecting a divorce attorney is a critical decision making process. The person who you hire will be responsible for obtaining or maintaining your custody rights to your children, your property inter.......

What Divorce Parenting Practices is Best Appropriate for Toddlers?
Toddlers, toddlers, toddlers! Very young, seems don't understand what is happening yet their development may be affected by parental divorce. During the first three years of life, children grow quic.......

Rosen Divorce Stresses the Importance of Celebrating Mother’s Day
Raleigh, NC- As the largest divorce firm in the state known for its unique approach to handling marital disputes, Rosen Divorce is always looking for ways to help fix relationships between parents. While many mothers will be celebrating Mother’s Day with....

Media Underload! The Stress Reducing Psych-Diet
The war, taxes, the economy, increased health problems, crime on the rise, overwhelming divorce rate, corruption in corporate America, and, oh yes, Janet at the Super Bowl! Where does it end? With so.......

My Own Online Business After A Divorce and Almost Bankruptcy
When I got divorced, I didn't know how I was going to be able to cope with my financial responsibilities which included mortgage, car, my kids's private school plus all the other expenses related to .......

Hire Divorce Lawyer or Use Online Divorce Forms?
Hire Divorce Lawyer or Use Online Divorce Forms?

When do you need to hire a family law attorney and when is it okay to just use an online divorce form website to save a little money? This article will provide a few pointers to help you decid....

Rights and Obligations with Prenuptial Agreement
Prenuptial agreements are like insurance policies. You do the paperwork, and then hope you'll never need it. However, since half of marriages end in divorce within the first seven years, you may want.......

The Wedding Aisle - Who is Walking You Down it?
Choosing who should walk down the aisle with you is not as easy at it has been in the past. In the past, it has always been assumed that the father of the bride is to be the one. These days, between family tensions, having divorced parents and just wanti....

Seven Sets of Documents You Need For Your Divorce
This article is designed to give someone who is considering or planning for the possibility of divorce an idea of what documents are needed. Even if you believe your case is ultimately agreed to and.......

Should You Try To Stop Your Divorce If You're Just Thinking About Getting A Divorce?
Thinking about getting a divorce doesn't necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce. Conversely, it could be wise to try to s top your divorce, only you know whether you should. Just b.......

"Divorce Decision: Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce"
When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few things that you should consider. Too often people find themselves unable to clearly identify what they need to think about when making a divorce decision which leads to further indecision and frustrati....

Divorce Mediation A Relatively Speedy and Low Cost Alternative
Is it possible to have an easy divorce? A low cost divorce? Or do all divorce settlements necessarily end in hard feelings and financial ruin? The truth is that divorce can be low-cost and easy… or i.......

Does Living In A Loveless Marriage Necessarily Mean That You Should Get A Divorce?
Being in a loveless marriage is a frustrating predicament, but it may not necessarily mean that a divorce is eminent. Solving the quandary of a loveless marriage requires self-reflection to assess th.......

Divorce: How To Survive A Divorce And Move On With Your Life
One out of every two marriages in America is failing. American families are crumbling and vanishing. Most families have become dysfunctional, and it is widely becoming fashionable to come from a dy.......

Divorce Lawyer in Houston
The practice of Family Law requires a firm that is familiar with both the complexities of family law and the family courts in which your family law issue will be addressed. Even the best family lawye.......

Controlling Behavior, Loving Behavior
When Zack and Tiffany started counseling with me, they were on the verge of divorce after 16 years of marriage. Neither really wanted to end the marriage, yet both were miserable. Both of them believ.......

How To Go Through Divorce Unscathed
Divorce can be hard. Perhaps, no one knows that better than the two parties involved in the legal coil of separation. Though a divorce is a mutual decision, it is not impossible that one or both part.......

"Dating After Divorce: Things To Think About Regarding Dating After Divorce"
Dating after divorce is a much debated topic due to the psychological and emotional impact it can have on people. Dating after divorce can be complex, too often divorcees don't consider the ramifications of dating after divorce before they jump into it w.....

Take Off the Rose-Colored Glasses When Dating
Robin was giving me an anatomy of her divorce. “There were signs,” she said. “Plenty of them. I just ignored them.”

“The counselor told me to ignore how he treated other people,” said Manuela, “and concentrate on how he treated me. But one day I be....

Dating Tips for Divorced and Widowed Moms
Dating is tough, but it’s tougher for women who are divorced and widowed. Along with the fears of being “out of practice,” there are often children’s feelings to consider. How can a single mother en.......

"Divorce Reasons; What Constitutes A Viable Reason For Thinking About Or Wanting A Divorce?&
According to the Center for Disease
Control's National Vital Statistics
Report of 2002, 50% of first marriages
ended in divorce and 60% of
remarriages end in divorce. But, the
Center for Disease Control also found
that 96% of Americans.....

Chasing After Child Support
Child support is often a source of contention between divorced parents of minor children. I understand this. I have been there. In an ideal situation, the parent who is responsible for paying child support does so out of love for his or her children.
....

Reasons For Divorce; What Constitutes Viable Reasons For Thinking About Or Wanting A Divorce?
According to the Center for Disease Control's National Vital Statistics Report of 2002, 50% of first marriages ended in divorce and 60% of remarriages end in divorce. But, the Center for Disease Cont.......

"Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source"
Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what type of divorce advice you want and what you want to use it for. When looking for advice about divorce, it is smart to clearly define what you.......

Choosing your Divorce Method
The biggest mistake that people make when getting divorced is that they fail to plan. They simply decide to leave the relationship and then enter and ugly and expensive battle that ends up hurting e.......

What Divorce Parenting Practices is Best Appropriate for an Infant?
Is there such thing as divorce parenting practices that is best appropriate for an infant? I tell you, yes there is. In fact, it's not only for infant. At every stage of children's development, whe.......

Living in the Clouds
I have a sister of whom I am very proud. After the kids were grown she found herself divorced after years of unhappy marraige. So she went back to work. She found the job market brutal after all those years as a housewife, but she stuck with it, and got a....

How to Select a Divorce Lawyer
Selecting a divorce lawyer to handle your family law case is a very important decision. The following are a few important criteria to help in finding the right divorce lawyer. Experience and Focus A.......

Been There, Done That
Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 12, 2004 Fourteen years ago I was divorced from my second wife, her idea. I'll call her Kay. But I never lost my love for her. She married again and h.......

Sex and New Relationships
Brad was just completing his divorce after having been married for over 25 years. He had not dated in what seemed like forever to him, and had no idea how to start. “How do you start a new relationsh.......

"Should You Try To Stop Your Divorce If You're Just Thinking About Getting A Divorce?
Thinking about getting a divorce doesn't necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce. Conversely, it could be wise to try to s top your divorce, only you know whether you should. Just because you're thinking about getting a divorce, doesn.......

Emancipation
Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 8, 2003 When is it time to divorce a family member? I've been helping my partner manage his father's long-term care. This entails working with his b.......

Deciding On Spousal Support
No matter which side you are on, spousal support is something that will need to be taken care of during a divorce. Something must be decided about spousal support, yet, where are you to begin? What are you going to do to resolve this issue of spousal supp....

Legal Mistakes - Top 10 Women (and Men) Should Avoid
In today’s world and high divorce rate, men and women should be aware of some legal issues to protect not only themselves, but also their children and any assets you may have. I will explain some of .......

"Surviving Divorce: What To Think About To Ensure Surviving Divorce"
Surviving divorce can be a valid fear if you're contemplating getting a divorce. In order to ensure surviving divorce, you should first understand that your divorce decision shouldn't be taken lightly. Ensuring that you'll be surviving divorce can be c.......

Negotiating a Good Divorce Settlement
Divorce can get complicated with all its legal and financial details and disagreements. It’s no wonder that you are seeking divorce help and divorce support. The most important piece of information t.......

"Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source"
Getting the right type of divorce
advice depends on what type of divorce
advice you want and what you want to
use it for. When looking for advice
about divorce, it is smart to clearly
define what you are seeking the advice
for so you ca....

How to Sell Your House by Lease Options
Many people buy a house then have to move within a few years, due to divorce, relocation or financial difficulties. Without any equity though, it can be nearly impossible to find buyers and you still.......

Midlife Career Change Can Feel Like Getting a Divorce
Most of us are aware that we need to grieve the death of a close friend, relative or favorite pet. We are beginning to learn that other events -- relocation, divorce, illness -- can also be experienced as loss.

Losing a professional-level career ca....