"Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source"
"Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source" by: Karl Augustine
Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what type of divorce advice you want and what you want to use it for. When looking for advice about divorce, it is smart to clearly define what you are seeking the advice for so you can be sure to look in the right places.
Seems simple enough right?
Yes, but...lots of people who are deciding about divorce and seeking divorce advice lump the categories of divorce advice into one, and that's a big mistake. You should seek divorce advice from different types of places for the different types of advice that you need. Certainly there's more types of divorce advice categories, but here's a partial list:
Divorce advice type 1: Legal advice for getting a divorce when you are sure that you want a divorce, no matter how tough it will be to get that divorce. When asking for this type of divorce advice while meeting with an attorney, you may be asked if you're certain that you actually do want a divorce…if you do, don't waver, stick to your decision. It makes sense to have a good idea of all of the parts of your life, family and materials, that could be affected or sought after. You want to have your facts, account names, timelines, etc., in mind when meeting with the attorney so that your discussion is maximized.
Divorce advice type 2: Legal advice for getting a divorce when you are almost sure that you want a divorce, but want to make sure that the financial considerations are in order or that health of your children won't suffer in the long run. When asking for this type of divorce advice, you may want to consider seeking the advice of an attorney or financial planner for the financial considerations and a counselor experienced in family matters for the impact that a divorce might have on your children. The point is, split the two concerns up so that you get the chance to speak to 2 different people who specialize in each area so that you will get the appropriate divorce advice.
Divorce advice type 3: Legal advice for getting a divorce in a case that is relatively simple and will be a clean break, no financial or other family considerations to take into account for the divorce. This is perhaps the easiest type of divorce advice to get because it infers that you have already made the decision from an emotional standpoint and really don't have any other considerations of deep concern. When seeking this type of divorce advice, you most likely have limited financial considerations, a prenuptial agreement, or the situation itself as amenable to everyone and you just need someone to do the paperwork.
Divorce advice type 4: Legal and/or counseling advice regarding whether or not divorce is right for you from a psychological, emotional and financial perspective. When asking for this type of divorce advice, you may want to consider seeking the advice of an attorney or financial planner for the financial considerations and a counselor experienced in Clinical Psychology and "personal-life" coaching for the impact that a divorce might have on you. Again, the point is, split the two concerns up so that you get a chance to speak to 2 different people who specialize in each area so that you will get the appropriate divorce advice.
Divorce advice type 5: Counseling for emotional support when deciding whether or not you really want a divorce or are just unhappy in your marriage. This type of divorce advice is crucial to your happiness because when you're in an emotional state, it is tough to make lucid and rational decisions. And, if you're wrestling with deciding whether or not to get a divorce (purely from an emotional perspective), you should do all you can to make a logical decision because how you approach this decision and the affects afterwards can be long lasting and far reaching. If you're are struggling with finding divorce advice, you may want to talk to friends, counselors, even other family members.
But, my divorce advice to you is, do it yourself.
I'm not saying don't talk with friends, counselors, and possibly family. What I am suggesting is that you reach the final decision of whether to get a divorce on your own, you have to live with it, no one else. The answer is inside you, you just have to get it out in a logical manner.
Whatever type of divorce advice you need, be sure that you're directing your energies in the right direction. If you don't separate the emotional aspects from the legal aspects of divorce advice, you might end up confused and unable to get the most out of any meeting you may have with an attorney or marriage counselor. At the end of the day, you should control your own destiny and make a smart decision based on logic, controlled emotion, and forward thinking.
Back in the Saddle
The single parents' guide to dating again.
Going through a divorce is hard. Getting back into the dating scene can seem even harder. You have been out of the scene for a while now and are not sure how to get back in. Let alone, back in wi.....
Parental Hostility: What Will This Bring To Your Children's Life?
One of the most important factors influencing kids' adjustments to their parents' separation or divorce is the level of parental hostility. How bad or how well children go through the divorce depends.......
"Divorce Decision: Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce"
When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few things that you should consider. Too often people find themselves unable to clearly identify what they need to think about when making a divorce decision which leads to further indecision and frustrati....
Divorce--When "Forever" Is Just Too Long
Are you unhappy with your spouse and your marriage? Are you seriously thinking about divorce? No matter how you deal with it, divorce is a messy process. When two people, who have taken a vow to stay together forever, decide that forever is much too....
Your Glass Is Half Full!
When most people are confronted with
a change in their lives that they didn't
want, such as death or divorce, negative
feelings start setting in. These people
start looking at everything in their lives
with a "glass half empty" attitude........
The Wedding Aisle - Who is Walking You Down it?
Choosing who should walk down the aisle with you is not as easy at it has been in the past. In the past, it has always been assumed that the father of the bride is to be the one. These days, between family tensions, having divorced parents and just wanti....
Rights and Obligations with Prenuptial Agreement
Prenuptial agreements are like insurance policies. You do the paperwork, and then hope you'll never need it. However, since half of marriages end in divorce within the first seven years, you may want.......
Healing the Midlife Love Crisis
All I wanted was to fall in love and live happily ever after. The End.
Except it wasn’t that simple. At forty-something, I was hardly “on the shelf”, but I was the veteran of two divorces. That gave rise to plenty of self doubt. It gave rise to ano....
Does Living In A Loveless Marriage Necessarily Mean That You Should Get A Divorce?
Being in a loveless marriage is a frustrating predicament, but it may not necessarily mean that a divorce is eminent. Solving the quandary of a loveless marriage requires self-reflection to assess th.......
Media Underload! The Stress Reducing Psych-Diet
The war, taxes, the economy, increased health problems, crime on the rise, overwhelming divorce rate, corruption in corporate America, and, oh yes, Janet at the Super Bowl! Where does it end? With so.......
Divorce online service. Why should we lose money and time applying for divorce?
It is usually easier to marry than to divorce, especially if the spouses who wish to do so must divide their common property as well.
Divorce is extremely difficult business in rich families. For wealthy Americans in this case, it is accepted that....
Attorney Marilyn Gale Vilyus Offers Guidance On Divorce: Should One Get Divorced Or Not?
No one except an individual can determine whether or not a divorce is right for him or her. However, there are some general questions which pretty much apply to everybody. Thinking about the followin.......
Beat the Odds for Divorce
Do you think marriage is a turkey shoot? Are you looking for a guarantee of success? Don’t gamble with your relationship. Follow expert advice to beat the odds for divorce.
Researchers can predict the success or failure of a long-term relationship....
Been There, Done That
Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 12, 2004 Fourteen years ago I was divorced from my second wife, her idea. I'll call her Kay. But I never lost my love for her. She married again and h.......
Children's Discipline: How To Resolve Divorce Parenting Differences?
Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives double messages, produces anxiety and can be very confusing to your children? Children need to know where they stand in their behaviors. It is therefore critical for parents to resolve their d....
Blessings In A Mother's Tears
As a mother, my intuition told me that something just wasn’t right. Most doctors blew off my concerns about my daughter, Deborah. They said the behavior problems were just “terrible twos” or “extra family stress” from my divorce. I knew from the time of m....
Divorce Is Not A Good Idea Right Now
Since September 11th although tempers have flared, depression has increased and sleeplessness has become an unwelcome visitor to many, committed relationships have not faltered and divorce filings have declined. Why is this? Even though people are stresse....
Reasons For Divorce; What Constitutes Viable Reasons For Thinking About Or Wanting A Divorce?
According to the Center for Disease Control's National Vital Statistics Report of 2002, 50% of first marriages ended in divorce and 60% of remarriages end in divorce. But, the Center for Disease Cont.......
The Truth About Lawyers
During the matter of my divorce (that's lawyer talk - it's always the matter of this and the matter of that), I spent about $30,000 on three different attorneys in an extremely frustrating effort just to be able to see my own children. As each one faile......
How to protect your life insurance policy while going through a divorce
Expert advice on protecting your assets in difficult times
Life insurance, more than most things you buy, relates to the circumstances of your life. You buy life insurance to protect your family from financial loss stemming from your death. You tie....
A Divorce Glossary
Divorce lawyers and law firms can provide a great deal of divorce information and divorce advice; but sometimes, all that legal jargon can be confusing to say the least, not to mention intimidating. .......
Should You Try To Stop Your Divorce If You're Just Thinking About Getting A Divorce?
Thinking about getting a divorce doesn't necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce. Conversely, it could be wise to try to s top your divorce, only you know whether you should. Just b.......
Top 5 To Dos Before Saying “I do”
Today, nearly half of all marriages don't last. Everyday I work with couples going through a divorce, many times over preventable conflicts. I’ve learned about what needs to be discussed before making a life-long commitment. If you’re planning to get mar.....
Following Through
Direct Answers - Column for the week of March 24, 2003 My final divorce papers sit in front of me waiting for my signature. In fact, they've been sitting on my desk for five days now. It took me tw.......
Divorce and Children: Things To Consider When You're Staying Married Only For Your Children
All children are different and respond differently to divorce. Depending on the characteristics of the children - age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma - the easier or more difficu.......
How to Grieve a Tragedy
Bad things happen to good people. Have you lost your job or are facing bankruptcy? Has a cherished relationship ended or you have gone through a divorce? Maybe you received diagnosis of a serious hea.......
Divorce: How To Survive A Divorce And Move On With Your Life
One out of every two marriages in America is failing. American families are crumbling and vanishing. Most families have become dysfunctional, and it is widely becoming fashionable to come from a dy.......
Couple Relationship
Statistics about divorce rates in the United States vary widely from one third up to fifty percent. Still, even considering the lower estimations, that would still be every third couple getting divor.......
"Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source"
Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what type of divorce advice you want and what you want to use it for. When looking for advice about divorce, it is smart to clearly define what you.......
Divorce: Secrets To Coping With A Divorce Announcement
During a wedding ceremony, when people are joined together in matrimony, they swear and vow to honor and respect each other and to remain partners both during good and bad times. But in most marriag.......
Spare Your Kids To 7 Most Distressful Divorce Parenting Situations
What 7 most distressful situations to kids that divorced parents should avoid? Learn them to spare your kids from the painful consequences. 1. Carrying Message Between Parents A child doesn't like.......
Children and Divorce
You and your spouse have decided to end your marriage. Although this has been a difficult decision for you and your spouse, it can be a very complicated one for your children. Divorce in many ways is like facing a death in the family, and a grieving proce....
"Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source"
Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what type of divorce advice you want and what you want to use it for. When looking for advice about divorce, it is smart to clearly define what you.......
Emancipation
Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 8, 2003 When is it time to divorce a family member? I've been helping my partner manage his father's long-term care. This entails working with his b.......
Divorced Parent: Do You Alienate Your Child from the Other Parent?
I have seen some divorce parents consciously distance their children from the other parent? Such actions may only be justified when there is a genuine concern about the children's emotional or physical safety when with the other parent. But in the absenc.....
Essential Ingredient
Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 15, 2003 I have a couple of questions for you. If a person no longer feels they love their spouse, is it time to divorce? Also, do you think a perso.......
How to Stop Divorce Parental Conflict from Bursting?
It is not the divorce but the conflict arising after divorce the culprit of most psychological-adjustment problems the children are having. So, how to stop the post-divorce parental conflict from bursting must be given a premium importance by parents who....
Legal Mistakes - Top 10 Women (and Men) Should Avoid
In today’s world and high divorce rate, men and women should be aware of some legal issues to protect not only themselves, but also their children and any assets you may have. I will explain some of .......
Family Law
A frustrating lack of permanence plagues modern relationships. Approximately one of every two marriages ends in divorce and the average length of a marriage before divorce is only five years. Many c.......
Second Time Around the Block
Divorce happens. I'm not going to debate the causes or the moral and ethical implications of that here. Even if you're the innocent one who stuck to your vows and got dumped anyway, you still have .......
Seven Sets of Documents You Need For Your Divorce
This article is designed to give someone who is considering or planning for the possibility of divorce an idea of what documents are needed. Even if you believe your case is ultimately agreed to and.......
The Secret To Success In Courtship And Marriage, Sex And Happiness. (Part 1)
In a high-divorce society, not only are more unhappy marriages likely to end in divorce, but in addition, more marriages are likely to become unhappy. -- COUNCIL ON FAMILIES IN AMERICA.
....
Numbers
Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 19, 2003 I'm currently in the classic older man and younger woman relationship. I'm 50 years old, Nancy is 30, and we are both divorced. I was not lookin.......
Wedding Loans: Perfect Finance Option for a Perfect Wedding
After seeing each other for years and being tagged as ‘in love’ since eternity, you desire to bring this to a logical end. You are wrong if you think I am suggesting a divorce even before you are actually married. The end to every love is wedding -the wed....
Yoga - The Solution for Insomnia
At one time, or another, all of us have experienced insomnia for any type of reason. There are times when lack of sleep just can’t be helped, such as: the loss a loved one, going through a divorce, .......
What Divorce Parenting Practices is Best Appropriate for an Infant?
Is there such thing as divorce parenting practices that is best appropriate for an infant? I tell you, yes there is. In fact, it's not only for infant. At every stage of children's development, whether infants, toddlers, preschoolers, elementary school ......
Three Amigos
Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 23, 2004 I feel rather foolish writing this letter, but I need help. I am a 67-year-old man living on social security. My wife and I divorced, but I.......
Life Lessons - an Inpirational Story
Ju was physically abused as a child. She lived with a mother who was diagnosed with post depression and a father who was a wife abuser. Her parent divorced and left six of them with her mother. She .......
Take Off the Rose-Colored Glasses When Dating
Robin was giving me an anatomy of her divorce. “There were signs,” she said. “Plenty of them. I just ignored them.”
“The counselor told me to ignore how he treated other people,” said Manuela, “and concentrate on how he treated me. But one day I be....
Buyer's Remorse
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 29, 2002 A few months after my divorce I started seeing a friend of my ex-wife. She told me I really needed a person that would appreciate me. We had a g.......
