"Sexless Marriage : Does Your Sexless Marriage Have You Thinking About Divorce?"

If you are in a sexless marriage and are unhappy because of it, don't worry, it isn't unrecoverable but it is serious cause for concern. You may even be thinking that you need a divorce because of your sexless marriage, that's only natural. But, in order to really decide what to do, some thinking needs to be done so you feel good about your decision, regardless if you stay married or not.

Being stuck in a sexless marriage can have you feeling a wide range of feelings from loneliness, listlessness, confusion, unconfident, etc. These feelings come about for a variety of reasons and they can be overcome if you just figure out why you're in a sexless marriage. You need to get to the root of the problem and uncover the real reasons that you and your spouse are no longer sexually active assuming of course, you once were!

To get to the heart of the causes for a sexless marriage will take some time. On the surface, you may be thinking that the cause of your sexless marriage may include one or more of the following scenarios:

Sexless Marriage: "We both work too much!":

You both work extremely hard and there just never seems to be enough time to get together, your schedules are skewed. This is true a lot nowadays with the 'new' economy, lots of couples are married but just live together like roommates if both parties have 'time-consuming' careers. If not managed properly, it is unfortunate but common for people in this type of lifestyle to end up in a sexless marriage.

Sexless Marriage: "You work, I stay home with the kid/s!":

One of you works very hard with your career and one of you stays home to raise the children (child), which is equally as hard as any career! This situation can lead to a sexless marriage in many cases because of the seemingly disparate priority base of each party. The spouse with the career may need to work after hours, travel, or attend "post work" functions and the spouse who stays home raising the children (child) may not have any other outlet for relaxation away from the home front. This situation can easily lead to a sexless marriage because there may be underlying feelings from both sides that contribute to an already tough situation based on personal and work related schedules.

The spouse with the career may say at times, "Why do you think I work so hard? I do it for you, the kids, our family, etc.". The spouse who stays home with the children (child) may say at times, "You have another release, you have social interaction daily with the outside world. I feel stuck here sometimes, I need to get out and have time for myself.". If the spouse that stays home feels like the spouse with the career enjoys being out and working more than being home, that calls for a whole different and escalated level of concern! Chances are the sexless marriage was bound to be that way before the current situation even arose.

Sexless Marriage: "I don't know why...there's just no spark left, you don't pay enough attention to me and our sex life and I guess I don't either!":

This is a common sexless marriage situation and it can be caused by a variety of things including emotional scars, bad experiences, boredom, laziness, etc. In this situation, there is deep cause for concern from both parties because both parties aren't happy sexually but don't really know why it ended up this way. Both parties have just "let things go" and didn't place a high enough priority on their sex life with their spouse, which in and of itself is very concerning.

Why would either or both parties let things get this way when love making is so important?

Sometimes there's a feeling of being taken for granted that can occur in this type of sexless marriage, and both parties should realize that sex is a basic human need and should take priority over other things at the right time. It takes work to get out of this type of sexless marriage, you need to sit down and figure out why your marital love life has dwindled. If you both really want to rekindle things, you can do so, but you both need to take equal responsibility for correcting the problem.

Whatever type of sexless marriage you are in (there's certainly more types than listed here), remember that it is not unrecoverable. If you're to the point of thinking about getting a divorce because of your sexless marriage, take the time to sit down and figure out how it got to be the way it is now.

If you've lost interest in your spouse from a sexual point of view, you need to define exactly why that occurred. If you don't know right off hand, you need to think back to a time when you did 'have the spark' and recall what you both were doing, feeling, thinking, etc. From that point, identify what has changed, why it has changed, and what you can do about it. When you get that portion figured out, you may well on your way to taking the first step of recovering from your sexless marriage. Remember, if you really want to rekindle your relationship, you can.

About the Author

Karl Augustine
"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce"
deciding on divorce
sexless marriage

How to Choose the Right Divorce Lawyer
Are you unhappy with your relationship? Are you thinking about divorce? Well then, choosing the right lawyer can be one of the most important decisions you make when considering a divorce. According to the article “How to Select a Divorce Lawyer” by Scott....

Living in the Clouds
I have a sister of whom I am very proud. After the kids were grown she found herself divorced after years of unhappy marraige. So she went back to work. She found the job market brutal after all those years as a housewife, but she stuck with it, and got a....

How To Identify What The Question "Should I get a divorce?" Means To You.
Deciding about whether you should get a divorce or not is an agonizing experience to go through. If you are asking yourself "should I get a divorce?", you've been thinking about your relationship's s.......

Mom's Legacy
Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 13, 2003 I am recently divorced from a destructive narcissist. His infidelity, coupled with a lack of remorse for the havoc caused to our family, was .......

Selecting a Divorce Attorney
Selecting a divorce attorney is a critical decision making process. The person who you hire will be responsible for obtaining or maintaining your custody rights to your children, your property inter.......

What 3 Greatest Gift You Can Give To Your Children by Co-Parenting?
A successful divorce is one in which the parents divorce each other but do not require the child to divorce one of the parents, either as a result of parental conflict or by one parent not being avai.......

Hire Divorce Lawyer or Use Online Divorce Forms?
Hire Divorce Lawyer or Use Online Divorce Forms?

When do you need to hire a family law attorney and when is it okay to just use an online divorce form website to save a little money? This article will provide a few pointers to help you decid....

"Does Living In A Loveless Marriage Necessarily Mean That You Should Get A Divorce?"
Being in a loveless marriage is a frustrating predicament, but it may not necessarily mean that a divorce is eminent. Solving the quandary of a loveless marriage requires self-reflection to assess the situation, courage to try to create a team effort for....

Does Living In A Loveless Marriage Necessarily Mean That You Should Get A Divorce?
Being in a loveless marriage is a frustrating predicament, but it may not necessarily mean that a divorce is eminent. Solving the quandary of a loveless marriage requires self-reflection to assess th.......

Divorce Online Sevice. Why Should We Lose Money And Time Applying For Divorce?
Attempts to use the worldwide Web as an effective means of struggle against bureaucracy are undertaken constantly and sometimes successfully. Today it is possible to fill in a tax declaration, apply .......

Legal Mistakes - Top 10 Women (and Men) Should Avoid
In today’s world and high divorce rate, men and women should be aware of some legal issues to protect not only themselves, but also their children and any assets you may have. I will explain some of .......

For Old Time's Sake
Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 19, 2002 I am currently going through a divorce, and we've been negotiating the terms of the settlement for a year and a half without agreement. I have.......

What Divorce Parenting Practices is Best Appropriate for Preschoolers?
How do you spare your preschoolers for the negative effects of divorce? How do you promote your preschooler's healthy growth and development? The answer is appropriate divorce parenting practices.

The next question is what appropriate divorce par.....

"Sexless Marriage : Does Your Sexless Marriage Have You Thinking About Divorce?"
If you are in a sexless marriage and are unhappy because of it, don't worry, it isn't unrecoverable but it is serious cause for concern. You may even be thinking that you need a divorce because of your sexless marriage, that's only natural. But, in ord.......

Dating Tips for Divorced and Widowed Moms
Dating is tough, but it’s tougher for women who are divorced and widowed. Along with the fears of being “out of practice,” there are often children’s feelings to consider. How can a single mother en.......

Should You Try To Stop Your Divorce If You're Just Thinking About Getting A Divorce?
Thinking about getting a divorce doesn't necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce. Conversely, it could be wise to try to s top your divorce, only you know whether you should. Just b.......

Dating a Divorced Guy
Has this happened to you?

SCENARIO NUMBER 1

Linda was visiting friends in Seattle and they fixed her up with Robert for a date. He suggested they have lunch and then he wanted to show her the tourist district. Of course it was one shop afte....

Five Christmas Survival Tips For The Divorced & Single Parent
For the over 50% of marriages that end in divorce, Christmas can be a hugely trying time. Since the season is one of the most stressful times of the year anyway, this onslaught of raw emotion to the.......

Ten Tips for Winning at Custody
Winning at Custody is one of the most difficult issues parents confront in divorce. In many cases, both parents want custody and are willing to spend whatever it takes to win. Unfortunately, more than any other issue in divorce, to win at custody means....

"Should You Try To Stop Your Divorce If You're Just Thinking About Getting A Divorce?
Thinking about getting a divorce doesn't necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce. Conversely, it could be wise to try to s top your divorce, only you know whether you should. Just because you're thinking about getting a divorce, doesn.......

Alone for the Holidays?
Being alone is a challenge for many people. This challenge may loom especially large during the holidays if you are single or newly divorced and without family around you. Holidays are a time to shar.......

Common-law misconceptions
Arsenal and England soccer star Ray Parlour was recently ordered to pay his ex-wife Karen a third of his earnings for the next four years in a high profile divorce case. And this £444,000 a year income was on top of two mortgage-free houses worth over £1....

Deciding on Divorce: How to know you are making the right choice
It's a well known fact that in this day and age most marriages end up in divorce. When confronted with the possibility of "throwing a relationship away", you'll probably experience a lot of stress. .......

Controlling Behavior, Loving Behavior
When Zack and Tiffany started counseling with me, they were on the verge of divorce after 16 years of marriage. Neither really wanted to end the marriage, yet both were miserable. Both of them believ.......

"Divorce and Children: Things To Consider When You're Staying Married Only For Your Chil
All children are different and respond differently to divorce. Depending on the characteristics of the children - age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma - the easier or more difficult it will be for children to weather a divorce.

10 Things I Learned About Divorce/Vicki Lansky
Divorce: 10 Things I Learned
by Vicki Lansky

For anyone who hasn't been divorced, trust me, divorce is never what you imagine it to be. Here are a few insights that may save you a trip to court, or at the very least, give you some idea of wha.....

What 10 Things Divorced Parent Should Do To Promote Positive Child Adjustment?
The effects of recent enlargement in divorce rates are negative effects. Divorced children are more probably to get pregnant as teenagers, drop out of high school, abuse drugs and have aggressively e.......

"Divorce Decision: Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce"
When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few things that you should consider. Too often people find themselves unable to clearly identify what they need to think about when making a divorce .......

Divorce Articles: How To Get The Most From A Divorce Article
There are many types of divorce articles available on the Internet by a variety of authors. What's below will help you get the most out of the divorce articles here on this site and anywhere else. The below information about divorce articles holds true f.....

Infidelity...Who Cares?
Why should I care if your life is a disaster because your spouse practice infidelity?

So What!

People plaster personal problems all over the net as if to do so a divorce attorney or marriage counselor is going to volunteer free services.

"Dating After Divorce: Things To Think About Regarding Dating After Divorce"
Dating after divorce is a much debated topic due to the psychological and emotional impact it can have on people. Dating after divorce can be complex, too often divorcees don't consider the ramifications of dating after divorce before they jump into it w.....

3 Major Divorce Parenting Mistakes And Learn How To Avoid Them
What 3 major divorce parenting mistakes that surely lead to unhappy, unhealthy and unsuccessful children? Parents know these for your children seek. 1. Failure To Act According To Child's Best Inter.......

Spare Your Kids To 7 Most Distressful Divorce Parenting Situations
What 7 most distressful situations to kids that divorced parents should avoid? Learn them to spare your kids from the painful consequences. 1. Carrying Message Between Parents A child doesn't like.......

Q: As a result of my divorce, I'm left with more debt than I can handle. Is there an alterna
One of the often-unintended consequences of divorce is the burdensome debt that was formerly handled by two, now to be handled by one. Creditors hold both spouses liable for debt incurred during the marriage. Any agreement between the spouses regarding wh....

"Contested" And "Uncontested Divorce"
A divorce case is contested if the parties cannot agree on every one of the issues involved in their particular situation. Common areas of disagreement include, but are not limited to: grounds for di.......

Post-Divorce Alimony in Texas
This article provides a brief overview on Texas law concerning post-divorce alimony in Texas. Laws differ from state to state and individual circumstances vary, so you should consult with a qualifie.......

Emancipation
Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 8, 2003 When is it time to divorce a family member? I've been helping my partner manage his father's long-term care. This entails working with his b.......

What Divorce Parenting Practices is Best Appropriate for Toddlers?
Toddlers, toddlers, toddlers! Very young, seems don't understand what is happening yet their development may be affected by parental divorce. During the first three years of life, children grow quic.......

How To Go Through Divorce Unscathed
Divorce can be hard. Perhaps, no one knows that better than the two parties involved in the legal coil of separation. Though a divorce is a mutual decision, it is not impossible that one or both part.......

"Reasons You Aren't Starting the Decision Making Process About Whether To Get a Divorce Or S
Along with any tough decision comes reluctance, especially when that decision involves an actual process and might potentially involve emotional pain or anguish. Deciding whether or not to get a divorce or stay married can be a frightening time for most p....

Family Law
A frustrating lack of permanence plagues modern relationships. Approximately one of every two marriages ends in divorce and the average length of a marriage before divorce is only five years. Many c.......

Divorced Parent: Do You Alienate Your Child from the Other Parent?
I have seen some divorce parents consciously distance their children from the other parent? Such actions may only be justified when there is a genuine concern about the children's emotional or physical safety when with the other parent. But in the absenc.....

Children and Divorce
You and your spouse have decided to end your marriage. Although this has been a difficult decision for you and your spouse, it can be a very complicated one for your children. Divorce in many ways is like facing a death in the family, and a grieving proce....

The Wedding Aisle - Who is Walking You Down it?
Choosing who should walk down the aisle with you is not as easy at it has been in the past. In the past, it has always been assumed that the father of the bride is to be the one. These days, between family tensions, having divorced parents and just wanti....

Second Time Around the Block
Divorce happens. I'm not going to debate the causes or the moral and ethical implications of that here. Even if you're the innocent one who stuck to your vows and got dumped anyway, you still have .......

Attorney Marilyn Gale Vilyus Offers Guidance On Divorce: Should One Get Divorced Or Not?
No one except an individual can determine whether or not a divorce is right for him or her. However, there are some general questions which pretty much apply to everybody. Thinking about the followin.......

Rights and Obligations with Prenuptial Agreement
Prenuptial agreements are like insurance policies. You do the paperwork, and then hope you'll never need it. However, since half of marriages end in divorce within the first seven years, you may want.......